You wake up feeling off. A tight chest, rapid heartbeat, maybe some nausea. Your brain screams, “Something’s seriously wrong. Maybe even I’m dying!” So you call an ambulance. Only… it’s not your heart. It’s anxiety.
More and more young men in Australia are calling 000, convinced they’re having a heart attack, only to be told they’re actually experiencing a panic attack. If this has happened to you, you’re not alone. It means something inside needs attention.
We’ve been taught to believe anxiety should feel like nervousness. What we’re not told is that it can mimic the physical symptoms of a heart attack. Think chest pain, dizziness, shortness of breath. And when those symptoms strike out of nowhere, the fear gets worse. It becomes a loop of panic about the panic. An older friend of mine who used to struggle with alcoholism told me this happened to him once. He was waiting for a bus after work and felt like he was having a heart attack. He caught a cab to an emergency room and was instantly taken in for tests. The doctors said it wasn’t a heart attack. Looking back, my friend realised it was anxiety from his alcoholism. Today, he’s mentally, physically, and spiritually fit.
For many men I work with, that 000 call becomes a wake-up call. Not for heart disease, but it’s usually from unprocessed stress, buried trauma, addiction, and emotional overload.
Because most blokes were never shown how to deal with feelings, only how to bury them. Anxiety builds quietly over time. Work stress. Relationship breakdowns. Financial pressure. Past trauma. Addiction. When there’s no safe outlet, the body takes over and says: “You’re not okay, mate.” Yet, as blokes we’re told to push that stuff to the side and get on with it. It’s a sign of weakness and it’s not real. Yeah, right. A true sign of strength is acknowledging what you’re feeling/thinking and doing something about it.
So instead of talking about what’s really going on, we down a few drinks, scroll mindlessly, isolate ourselves or grind through until we collapse.
But you can only “soldier on” for so long.
This recent article in The Conversation highlighted how men are increasingly showing up in emergency rooms with full-blown panic, not knowing what’s happening to them. And here’s the thing, often, the panic doesn’t come out of nowhere. It’s the result of years of trying to carry too much, say nothing, and hope it gets better. Don’t do that to yourself. You deserve better.
Addiction often follows this path too. It starts as a way to manage the overwhelm. But over time, it becomes its own source of pain, fuelling more anxiety and shame.
I’ve seen men who’ve faced legal issues, relationship breakdowns, or lost jobs all stemming from an unmanaged spiral of anxiety and substance use. They didn’t know they were allowed to ask for help. They thought they had to tough it out.
They didn’t realise that courage looks like reaching out. This is where you start regaining some of your power back.
If you’ve had an ambulance moment, or even if you’ve felt close to it, it might be time to press pause and ask:
You don’t have to wait for rock bottom. You don’t have to fake it another day. There are safer, better ways to cope and it starts by admitting that maybe, just maybe, you’re not meant to carry this alone.
Whether it’s anxiety, addiction, or just feeling like you’re drowning in life, you’re not broken. You’re human.
You’re allowed to ask for help. In fact, asking for help might be the bravest thing you do this year.
If you’re not sure where to start, reach out. I’ve worked with plenty of men who felt like they were beyond saving. They weren’t. You’re not either.
Let’s talk. Or just follow along.
You can connect with me here on LinkedIn, or visit Alex Crouch Counselling for more support and resources.